Dewayne, I think it's strange that you created a fake fb page in her name, and that your profile in FB reads divorced when you are actually not. It sounds like you act out of an emotional state and do things that are not very mature or well reasoned. Calling yourself divorced when you're not isn't a huge deal in the grand scheme of things, but it's a lie. And kind of a pointless one at that. Like fibbing on your age on FB by a few years. I know it's hard to present a full story in this forum where everyone really understands, we just have to go on the words that you use and the things you choose to describe. Based on that little bit, I think you need to take a step back from your W and sort your own laundry.
Who are you really, and who do you want to be? Are you a liar, a faker, one who lashes out and then revises to sound closer to who you think you should be? Take some time for personal growth.
It is easy to say you have attention and anger down pat. Words. What W needs, and what you need to show, is consistent action. I was married for 20 years. You can believe there was attention at first, and then for a little while after any crisis. But over the long haul, when the day to day grind hits, and you're busy, and you get lazy, true colors come out and action speaks louder than words. So work on being consistent and true, and acting like the man you want to be.
It's a shame in our sitches that we can't get our spouses to understand - see! I've changed. I've seen the light and I'm not that person any more. Now come back! You'll read all over the place here, that just doesn't work. You have to be patient, be the best man you can be. Do that for you because she may or may not notice it, and may or may not ever be in a place to come back to you.
You should develop a plan to get your life in order, and start taking steps that way. You're a parent of an almost schoolage child. You need to have a job and a home of your own. Maybe two jobs if you can find work. What's your life plan?
Both of you sound like you really need counseling, individually and if you want to bring the marriage back together then marriage counseling too. You can't make her go, you can't make her change, you can't make her want the same things you want. So focus on you for now.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
