New Year, New Life (19 months)

[labug]

You're sounding very different. I know this is painful and things will continue to come up, but the clearer you can be about who you want to be, the easier it becomes.

For me it helps to keep that image in my mind and to continue to turn everything on it's head and look at it in a new way, to drop my expectations and examine my feelings, my motives. Many of us have filled in the empty spaces in our R for so long that to stop doing that seems impossible. But letting them (whoever "them" is, Ss, children, friends, co-workers) go and allowing them to be who they are is very freeing for everyone.

It's a luxury to stop and think, to not always have to have the right answer, or any answer, to allow things to unfold, to drop the judgement, to just sit back and say "hmmmmmmm." I've learned that there is a lot of room for living between black and white.

And I continue to ask myself, is what I'm doing, feeling, saying getting me closer to who I want to be?

I'm happy for you, Ad.