I often get fed up with H because he just sleeps on these holidays. This time I'm just expecting him to sleep a lot. There is no internet at these houses so I think he's in internet withdrawal when we're away. I won't expect him to be full of energy.
So, go with no expectation from H at all. Or expect his behaviour to remain the same and then enjoy yourself and the babies. He will be present ,but don't let his lack of presence emotionally and mentally affect you. Think, distant cousin, you are friendly and polite, but don't really care what he does because ultimately it won't affect you.
Easier said than done for sure, but why don't you afford yourself some happiness?
