On the second bit, what you talk about regarding love and a "neutralizing" effect might best be described as bonding. The most generally ascribed condition of bonding is to bring others inside our circle of self.
What that means is, when we get into that love/bond with another (which can be more than one, when it is spouse, children, etc.), they become part of our personal survival condition.
Read up on bonding to understand more.
Regarding the "why me / why now"?
Read up on life transitions. This is slightly broader in scope than standard transitions from childhood to adulthood or retirement and transition into a care home.
People go through many life transitions with the typical range of a "stage" being 7 to 10 years. Earlier in life, there is baby to toddler to pre-school to child to pre-teen and teen and then adulthood (I've missed or renamed some, I'm sure). After that, some people go through transitions on decades (ie. turning 30, 40, etc), others may transition on half decades, and some just transition on major life events.
That said, some transitions can take on crises proportions. Others are mild and are simply an examination of where we might be in our life, in relation to where we might have hoped to be, and we adjust accordingly (either our thoughts and expectations to accept where we are, or our path to get us where we want to be).
Why it is for you... well, those answers are inside you. Or as we like to say in my circle, "Someone you know has those answers."
Your mission... if you so choose it... is to manage this transition in a reflective, positive, and growth oriented way.
They are never really easy. Although sometimes the choices and path seem easier than at other times.
This is always a good time to be focused on self care. How ever that may look. And being in a responsible and respectful manner.
