Almost Over...

[Dewayne]

Ok, I said it wrong.. I didn't "Send her out shopping" I asked them if they wanted to go out and do things. They were always at home and they would say from time to time that they were bored. Wanted to get out. I had a hot rod at the time to go cruising but it was down for the moment. SO they went out shopping.

The "We had her wild oats sown" well, that again, just a statement being misread. I didn't treat her like a child until she did this stuff. I took her to work and took the phone from her. It was the only phone and since I was driving all around for the haunt getting things done and she had a phone at work, it really wasn't THAT much of a "grounding" like she called it. I did tell her, "well, if you didn't act like an immature brat sometimes maybe you'd be treated like a wife instead of a child" this was after her statement of me saying I was controlling and treating her like a child. She had already flipped at this point in time.

I love her because of the way she loves me, I love her laugh, I love the way she smiles, I love being held by her, our love languages were pretty solid, but I DID need to do more of attentive stuff and surprise things. I could've done more and could've done LESS angry spells. I'd punch a wall or two and destroyed a door once but usually wasn't at her, I'd be mad at other things.

I have the anger beat. My most obvious signs was road rage. Gone. Caput, none. Absolutely not there anymore.

I have the attentiveness down I think. That's something that, to me is like, once you realize it, and have the pain of knowing it like I do, it's there. I really TRULY WANT to do all the little things for her now. ALl the time. I just have to wait till piecing to get to show it with her I guess.

She is a bit immature NOW. Before this happened, she acted like a real woman. Was gaining "lady like" attributes all the time. See, when we got to gether she was homely. SHe didn't wear make up, didn't get her hair done etc. Never had her nails done. Nothing. I still fell in love with her because well, I loved her. I DO love her. It's not so much as dependancy anymore. I'm detaching more and more each day. Just... gawd I miss her. Miss everything that I took for granted like just her being there while I played games (doing that now, battlefield 3) etc.

Yes, I figure about 3 more weeks is all I got before D is final.

A thing that I did to help was I created a new facebook for her. In her name "real name" and put up a pic of all 3 of us. WHenever I get down and feel like saying something, I post it to that one instead of her facebook. I defriended her and I already put my status to Divorced. (probly shouldn't have but I did one day when I was really down.)

The "pushing" yeah I did that wrong. She instigated the last 2 arguments, the talk (talk really wasn't arguing, just talking) and the txting was on her. Take that back, I initiated the talk, but only meant to ask one question, she hooked me into talking about a few other things, and I bit.