I will SM34 but I have to run out for a few hours and will tonight. One thing though is they say not to criticize OM/OW to your spouse. This will only justify their position and defend them. Don't make it personal with them. You are in tough as this R with OM has a tie in to her best friend. Don't go to her friend at all....stay away. Though I am pretty sure my W has someone on the go, I am not certain who. I am not even certain it is with original OM from almost 2 years ago....but there is something going on. I have backed off from trying to figure it out as I need to deal with me and my girls.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Has been a lonely couple of days. They are back this afternoon then I have a night out with my girls for NYE sleepover at some friends. Then I donlt see them for 2 days again. My d14 kept texting me. Having fun but misses me and wishes I were there. Said she wants family back like, d10. Says it just does not feel right.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Enjoy your night tonight with the girls FM. Drink your sparkling cider (or whatever you do), watch the ball drop and just love them. Happy New Year! New year, new you!!!!
Me54, H53 M 23, T 25 S20, S18 BD: April 2024 Moved out: August 2024
Love means not giving up on someone even if they've given up on you.
"Being right is the booby prize of life." - Susan Page
Thanks RLA, you too! I haven't had a drink in 11.5 years but I'll enjoy the time with my girls and some very, very close friends of ours! Last New Year’s my W, kids and I were at DisneyWorld for the Epcot fireworks with the same friends and their girls. At midnight New Year's my W and I kissed passionately (we have never done PDA's) and promised each other 2012 would be our year that all would be better and committed to each other and our family. There was love. I saw it in her eyes. My friends told me after the trip that my W seemed so much in love with me the whole time there. My W used to adore them and have been friends for decades. They can’t figure her out now either.
Let's make this a 2013 of personal growth!
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Lonely day and evening with dog. W at her parents with kids. Gotta get used to this I guess. Have not spoken to W in 5 days and that was a bad convo about money. We just stay away from each other. I can't even look at her. This is stupid. What a difference 366 days makes.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Aw, poor you. ((hugs)) I'm wondering why you stayed home lonely with your dog when you had no kid duty. Isn't there anything fun to do around there?
If you feel like your day is pathetic, that is a choice you're making. For me, a day with my dog and no interruptions would be sheer heaven. But you should be doing what you want to do, especially when W has the kids. Force yourself if you have to.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
You're right. I suppose I needed the rest and downtime though too so this was my plan. Just realize how lonely. I don't look at it so much as kid duty as I love being with them. They are not work at all. My whole sitch is so screwed up. I read yours. You had a bomb drop at Christmas and that makes this time of year tough no doubt. Chrsitmas and New Years were always our best times and it makes it tough too so I guess there is no good time.
M17 yrs. me49 xW47 d15 d11
BD1-Jul/11(Affair found out) Therapy 9 months (tried 2) BD2- May/12(sep) Court Jul/13 - I got 50/50 Sold home - Aug/13 Court #2 - Dec/13 Court#3 - Apr/14 ... She lost again We settled.
Actually my bomb drop was June 15, 2011. My H then traveled overseas for work with almost no communication for several weeks at a time over summer break, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Last Christmas he arrived home at 5pm on Christmas night to join a party I was hosting for his family that day. Talk about pretending and putting a smiley face on.
But you're right, there is no good time, you just do what you gotta do.
I never said I don't love being with my kids. But it is not attractive to your spouse or anyone else to submerge yourself and do nothing if its not something to do with your kids. That is called hiding. Get. A. Life. It sounds mean but there's a reason it is such a big DB concept. It will save your life and make you a better person, and a better dad. Develop interests, hobbies, work on things you enjoy. Take that chance when the kids are with your W because you have to do something then.
You get no prizes for wallowing.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
I'm not the best gal-er but here are some things I do when my 12 and 14 year old are safely being supervised by someone else.
I drive an hour to the Appalachian Trail and hike up and down hills for a few hours taking photos.
I practice guitar and singing finally without anyone to tell me I'm embarassing them.
I work out at the gym or go to yoga.
I would really love to use groupon or other travel discounts and go explore overnight out of town, but I haven't had an overnight yet.
I joined meetups for hiking, guitar, and backpacking and hope to schedule some daytrips with these new friends.
It's a short list and not very impressive, but it's an idea of some of the things you might think about scheduling to do when you don't get to be with your girls.
I'm sure there are other interesting things you can do with them too. I took my boys on a cruise, took them to meet a fellow D.B.'er at the beach, I take them out for sushi.
I don't know if your D14 is allergic to hanging out with you like my S14 is sometimes, but I bet you can have some fantastic bonding times with your D10! I like cooking with my kids, and one of the other dads here cooks quite often with his teenage girl.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
