Finally approaching the starting line!

[adinva]

You are not understanding what detachment is. It is not the absence of caring. It is unchaining yourself from the roller coaster ride of another person's feelings. You are not responsible for another's feelings, only yours.

If she gets mad and yells, does that have to make you mad or sad? No. It is your interpretation of her behavior that dictates your feelings; it all happens in your head. You've had toddlers...did you get mad or cry when they had a tantrum? No? Did that mean you loved them any less? No - because you had an understanding of their behavior that allowed your emotions to stay separate.

A lot of us get so entangled in our romantic relationships that we start to think we are responsible for making the other person feel happy or sad, and that they are responsible for how we feel. That is not correct, and it is not healthy.

Somewhere around here there is a good article on the meaning of detachment. I don't know where, but maybe someone else will post it.