Hi Leo, sorry about the painful limbo. I've been there and it is hard. Acting like you're together when you're out and then coming home to separate existences. It is fake and painful. Who are you protecting? S15 so that he doesn't know the marriage was in trouble, in case you end up fixing it? I did that. Your spouse, so that they don't have to suffer the judgment of family and friends in case you end up fixing it? I did that too.
All I can say, is eventually I got to the point where I felt hiding this was doing more harm than good, and then I started pushing to get out of limbo.
If you are ready for your W to move out, then ask her more questions and press for details, ask why she hasn't moved out yet. Move it along.
If you are not ready for that, then enjoy the fact that she is procrastinating, and don't worry about why.
As a W I believe that a lack of feelings comes from so many complicated sources that it is not a lightswitch that goes on and off. When times are good, and you like what you see, and the stars line up just so, I believe the feelings can resurface. They may be buried, she may think they're dead, they may resurface.
Whether or not they do, changes nothing for you.
You still need to get the focus off her, onto you. Get a life. What are you doing interesting? What are you doing for you?
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
