Cold Fire

[leopoldstotch]

I'm ok SG I've been really busy at work. The Holidays were ok. I didn't go to my wife's nieces with her on Christmas Eve and I didn't go to her father's Christmas Day because I really didn't feel like acting like all is well only to come home to separate lives. I told my W this and she asked what she was supposed to tell people then when they asked where I was. I told her to tell the truth everyone will know sooner or later. I'm tired of this charade. New Years Eve I went to a friends party alone and my W stayed home in bed she said she wasn't feeling well. We normally go to my cousins house but I didn't want to go and put on an act.

Right now she is out at the movies with her brother. In light of my W lack of feelings for me I'm not so sure she will ever get them back. I guess I'm going through a normal thought process. I'm not giving up but I'm not seeing any changes she stills says she is working on moving out. Makes me think she isn't and that she is content on living this way and I'm not. I'm really missing some companionship these days. I'm also not sure what my DB should be at this point. I've had a lot of time to really assess what got us to this point and it's really the fact that we grew apart. We both lived separate lives. My W got used to doing things alone and she wants no part of doing things as a couple. It's been over a year since we've ML and we have no physical contact at all. So I scratch my head wondering what to do.