Wendylon, Ruby, Andrew and Busting, I wish I could bring you all here and have ice cream sundaes together :-) I'm so grateful for your support and words of encouragement.
I've been having a hard time today. Maybe it's the fact that I only got 3 hrs of sleep, but the anxious feelings/need to escape are back. Being completely alone doesn't help either. My mom left for Florida, and I have no one else. I called a good friend who's like a grandmother and she told me she might be able to see me tonight after she visits her son. I hope so. I feel so lonely.
I was listening to one of my Wayne Dyer CD's, and he was talking about the need to detach to achieve happiness. He was talking about R with S's and children, and pretty much everyone. He says we must be able to love without thinking our happiness depends on being with the other person, and also to let our loved ones do whatever they want to make out of their lives. Still, though, it's very hard, esp bc of the way my H behaved during our past interactions. Even last night, after telling me all the stuff he told me, he wanted to continue the touching. He calls that "being friendly?" Yeah, sure. He does have a lot to grow up and learn. He even said this. He said he wants to be on his own and make mistakes and ultimately find what he wants. However, he's finding what he wants after being with me for 14 years, which makes me angry.
