A bit of sadness and melancholy today. Starting a new year makes it seem so very real.
Long texts yesterday with H about how he will give me support and disagree when necessary and that he would have my back.
I replied that there was not enough time to say enough sorrys but I offered them without equivocation and without looking for forgiveness. That I had learned hard lessons and even though this was not the way I chose to learn, that it was a gift to be able to see the things that were actually important at the end of the day. He mentioned that he knew it would be hard going forward as friends because this was new for me but he had been done for a long time.
His fb post to a friend was that they were writing new books with new and old friends...made me a little sad, but you know, he didn't come to this decision in three months, so I cannot expect him to come back in three months, can I?
It's nice to know the physical attraction is still there for him, although he had been drinking, so I have to weigh that in in terms of I kissed him first lol!
So I work on the friendship, the trust and the emotional base from scratch. He said that he hoped our friendship wold be stronger than our marriage. I had such trust issues, hopefully I can trust but still guard my heart. It may be that he is done with the M and hopefully I will be far enough down my own path to accept it.
My New Years wish to him: I wish you light in the shadows. I give you my strength and heart. I wish you peace and tranquility. I wish you love
His back was I wish you peace and love.
Hopefully 2013 proves to be amazing whatever the outcomes.
