Some progress after 2+ months of DBing

[Wendylon]

Thank you very much, Tori and Andrew. Your words really helped. It's amazing how I can feel myself derailing and then reading your posts gets me back on track.

H is going out for his drink tonight. I feel uneasy about it (as I always do) but I will manage myself. He got a bit impatient with me when he said he was meeting his friend at 6 and I asked, "Will you be back for supper?" He said, "God, why is it always so complicated?" and he left the room in a bit of a huff. Obviously, he wans't planning to be back for supper. Later he apologised and said he was meeting his friend at 8 after all, so we could eat together first. H is always telling me how this friend has nothing good to say about his W and that he barely tolerates her. I hate to think of the two of them having a b*tch session about their controlling wives.

D15 and I went for a walk in the sunshine today. I was just thinking to myself that it would be so nice if H would want to do that with me. I used to initiate it but he refused so many times that I stopped asking him. As D15 and I got home, H was heading out. He said he thought he'd look for me. D15 went home and he and I carried on a bit. We had a nice little walk. I tried not to initiate too much convo. There can be quite a few silent times if I don't initiate. It feels a bit strained but we did have a bit of a jokey time about me ordering an HP printer. He thinks it's not the best choice and said that he was fine with it though as long as he can tell me he told me so when it goes wrong. It was light-hearted.

He came up for a midnight hug last night. He smiled genuinely this morning when he wished me Happy New Year. There are a few positives. It's his bday tomorrow so I'll try to make a bit of a fuss.

My resolution is to keep on the DB path!