Your Christmas Scene is certainly a positive note.
Just to give you what might be an interesting perspective. Your S26 and H had been disconnected physically, since '09. I'm getting by that statement from you, that your H was not making the effort.
I want to relate to you that, D15 has been disconnecting from me since BD, but more so during 2012 to the point where she has told me not to even text her. Despite what I believe have been my best effort to give her what ever space she appears to want, even though I've always remained and let her know, I would be here for her, if she wanted.
The reason I mention the above is, so often the LBS points at the WAS as being the protagonist in this. I am sure that you could point out that S26 was upset with H. Yet, as the "profiled" LBS, I am sure my W would tell that D15 is upset with me and that I am not making an effort to be with her.
In the end, I am glad that S26 and H are reconnecting. I hope that one day, D15 and I will reconnect. Again... however that may look and by the best effort of both of us.
On the idea of logic within your H, that is certainly true. Logic does seem to take a back seat for the MLCer. Although, this could more be a case of lack of empathy or compassion. IOW, your H may LOGICALLY understand that you are not the problem. He just still is emotionally unavailable.
So, by being emotionally unavailable (he'd probably call it "detached"; that "safe" word that we use here, as we instruct the LBS to achieve), he is able to express the logic...
But...
Until he is emotionally available... before he could even begin to grasp the depth of the harm to you and his family, he will continue to speak to you only in logic...
Trust that this lack of empathy and compassion... this emotional unavailability... shows up in his R with OW, even though it may not be apparent. It may never show up, for him.
So keep on keeping on.
Love your description of your H sitting in the chair beside you, adjusting himself to the extreme, as though you have cooties...
