I completely understand how it may once again feel like another betrayal that your H blamed you, yet now does not blame the OW.
Keep working on curbing that analytic mind. You may never know the "why". It sux, but is what it is and may be.
That being the case, be clear that he IS talking about that stuff, with you. Even if it is over email. He IS taking the time to understand himself and work through his issues.
One day, that may change the dynamic of your R, even if it may not lead to rec. How ever that looks, and how that might feel, that is still a good thing. He's indirectly validating that you... were not the problem...
