she's a wonderful person but...

[labug]

I agree with 25, her mother just died. Give her time.

About this: Then she pushes my arm away, says I can't touch her. She'd started to cry. Says something like "I like it, but I feel too close to you, so I can't get close to you or I'll cry all day." my take is this or at least this is why I would and have, responded in that way. I can do fine in a deeply sad and painful situation if I can just focus on what needs to be done. But when people want to hug or be nice, I lose it and then my focus is lost. I've even told people, "Just don't be nice to me right now."

This is not a long term solution to experiencing grief but sometimes there are hours or events I needed to get through, then later when I felt safe, I could let the tears come.

Just an insight into what might be happening with your wife.

My H decided he was done with our marriage almost exactly one year after my mother died. We had trouble a year before that but I was working on me during that time. When mom died he was a rock and I was so appreciative of his help after her death.

But I grieved my other's loss for that year that I was trying to rebuild my marriage. It was very difficult and of course we didn't talk about my grief or my deepening depression, or his feelings about those things.

Go slow, see what happens. Support your W in whatever way you can.