Something I have been thinking about off and on since H said it back in Aug. (I am an admitted over analyzer and I've worked hard to curb that activity).
During an email conversation, the only way H will even broach a deep conversation, as he is still unable to look me directly in the eye to talk, was that he believed it was the military that is the root of his problems. He said after talking to other Vets he thinks that he got messed up more than he ever thought or would admit to during his 2 year deployment in Germany during tail end of Vietnam war.
I know he was treated poorly upon his return as many Vets were during that war, he felt abandoned by a country.
I validated that I believed it did have an impact on him and maybe things that happened even farther back also impacted him. (For those that don't know, H's father died suddenly when H was 9, and he was never allowed to talk about him again.)
I did not go into any further explanations or that I thought he was deep into a MLC. Just figured since he seemed to be thinking about it maybe I could plant a seed or two.
I guess my question is is that how come I was the problem that made him run away and after he found out that he is still miserable, he didn't blame ow? After all, he has now been living with her for 3 years.
Why was she worth so much more to him that he would look a little deeper and I didn't have any benefit of that doubt?
If anyone has any insight, it would be appreciated.
