I'm sorry about the double-whammy of a holiday AND anniversary hitting you...that has to really hurt.
Going back to the anger bit, you just have to let him burn it out. They are all full of anger about, well, just about any/everything in life...and we, unfortunately, get the brunt and blame. Ironically, they somehow feel safest taking it out on us due to the M history, the proven record of trust, it seems...My W would get in these rages, then they would subside, then come on again...and she was/is still in the house, so not a pleasant time for the kids and I. Slowly she burned the anger out, it just takes time for them to express it enough and feel it enough to begin to figure out the reality of its origin, and then what to do about it (hopefully). Hope that helps some.
All you can "do" about H right now is put on your detached, dispassionate scientist hat and look at this mlc stuff as some crazy mad squishy social science experiment or something...well, that's what I did and it helped me not go bonkers myself after I worked myself up into a bleeding ulcer about this time last year...
You are logical, identified the issue, have done the research, can analyze H, you, your R (though watch this, it's a time sink, trust me, I am so guilty of that) and have a plan. Applaud yourself, you got right to the chase very quickly...
T^2
In the depths of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. - Albert Camus
Uncertainty is the very condition which impels people to unfold their powers.-Eric Fromm
