Talked with H today and he said he didn't remember a lot of the convo we had lol. I said I remembered more, and he apologized for a couple remarks he made.
Also said we should talk again without the alcohol and he said he would see what his schedule looked like and come out Friday maybe. ( he originally was only coming Sunday). I also said I was in town on Thursday if he wanted lunch.
I said thanks for convo, because I realize how much damage I did with my attitude and the way i acted in marriage and can only apologize because it is all I can do.
I also said I would be more fiscally open with the money I make, and would put all in joint so he could see. I don't make a lot, but I guess he felt that the marriage was what is mine is mine and what was his was mine as well, so that's a 180 for me, being so financially open.
He mentioned when did we want to start mediation and said that he knew I was busy the next two months, so March was fine. Also said things about moving forward like" you and the kids" etc. which is sad, but no expectations right?
I offered not to go to party tonight with mutual friends because of how he felt and also because a friend of mine just gave birth and the baby was born dead today
He said go, he was being overly sensitive to friends and if they saw our relationship improved that they would come to grips with things. I didn't want to say that everyone was fine with separation but not the fact that you found someone else( that they all knew) so quickly. But I am sure he knows that, whether consciously or not.
Also sent text that I had no regrets about anything Saturday night and no expectations either. That the only regret was he jacked my hormones and now my face is breaking out lmao!!!
No reply to that, didn't expect one, but that elephant can't remain in the room without being addressed. So I gave him the opportunity, hopefully, to be comfortable with it and to know that I realize it was an alcohol fuelled bit of craziness. I do not want him running in the other direction because he thinks that I expect things. He was quite clear today several times, that he sees us going our separate ways.
So, to the party tonight, getting a little fun streak of purple in hair, getting belly button pierced in a couple of days ( taking advantage of amazingly flat divorce diet stomach) and signed up for a half marathon, because I am stupid!!!!!
Have managed to talk a couple of friends into training for it though, so we will see.
