Wow 25 thank you so much for that! It was not too long, I hung on every word...Today was a really tough day though, d11 kept calling me crying saying "Papa I don't think mom is coming back" and after I would calm her down I would say let me talk to your mother..who was also crying saying "I can't take this anymore..I can't see her hurting anymore...she just needs to move on this being in limbo is too hard for her" etc...I asked her if she wanted me to come take the kids tomorrow for a while and give her a break, she said no she would miss them too much---more crying from her..I took dbing advice and listened and did not say much...even though I don't like to see d11 suffer so much..I suggested that W go to D's thearapist and explain what is going on over there...that worries me a little bit because she sees W as a WAS and is not very pleased with W's actions...but that is one of my drawbacks is that I can be a little controlling.. I guess everyone---what are your thoughts about keeping the children in this limbo? Is it harder on them and unfair to put them through this... I want to say to W you need to ask yourself why is it that when they are here they are very happy but when they have to go over there they are very sad and count the days until they come back to me...W has been a WAW for about two years now she joined a band and spent a lot of time with the band and her friends from the band...I picked up the slack thinking she just needed space...So I put all my time energy and love into my d's..and not much into making friends and basic GAL so I have a long way to go on that realm...the only thing I did for myself was listen to a lot of TED talks and history podcasts while cooking or cleaning. I found myself telling adults that I met, weird facts about the Monguls or the amygdala; didn't always go over so well. I was jealous of W and her male friends, she has very few female friends and I am not sure why that is I think it is a control issue for her but I don't know....but when I would come home and see that such and such man had been hanging around I would get angry..I thought it inappropriate and she saw it as controlling...but I will get more into my flaws later... It is funny that you mention the military because my father was a hard charging decorated military soldier...so we moved every 3 years I long for stability in relationships, while at the same time the other half of me is wanting change...
