Today we were invited as a family to have lunch with S21 GF family and S25 GF family (who both happen to be neighbors and best friends so we were the new addition). It was unavoidable being that H didn't attend not to speak on out sitch S21 will not sugar coat or mix words about anything so he is brutally honest.

I was open to the sympathetic, spiritual ear that was given me and found that I was honest as well. I wonder if I am being harsh...I am not acting in anyway harsh, but my heart is cold (hardend) toward my H.

I allow myself to feel disgusted by him, done, searching for a way out. I didn't say this to them but their prayer of hope made me feel like, "good luck-he disappoints"!

Am I wrong? Am I being harsh...in my heart! I have zero faith that he will be a success, return to this family a humble man, and return to God as a Son without rebellion.

I have NO belief in me that he will be a emotionally healthy functioning man of "normal" society, nor do I believe he will ever give up ea/friends and return to a expectable person worthy of my family.

So, is this me protecting myself? Am I being to harsh, or is the stage I need to be at to accept that all the above is probably true?

I need some feed back here. I write on other threads with mostly no acknowledgment, and here I get readers who, once in a while post. Am I in the wrong topic, should I move, confused here....? Just looking for opinons.... a word of something, I'm getting very hardend!

The past can't be ahead of you in the future.
You don't have to figure it all out, just pick a direction.
What's next...I don't know but I can't wait!