Ruby, this is quite a change! I think it's great you had this conversation. I'll challenge you to think about a couple of things: -The journal. Sharing stuff about the past, esp if it's negative, might not be the best thing to do at this point. I know you needed to communicate this, but maybe it's best to focus on who you are NOW and your feelings NOW. -Intimacy. Yes, very important. The fact that this was one of the reasons he says he left is actually good, bc it means he might have little emotional attachment to the OW. In my case, my H started with an EA (we were intimate very often, so that wasn't the reason) and these A are a lot harder to overcome. -It's important he doesn't feel less about himself in your presence or in your friends' presence. Maybe you should ask your friends to respect him and your privacy. The friends think they're being supportive, but they're hurting the two of you instead.
Congrats again on this new happening!
Thanks Tori, I am getting to your sitch to catch up
I agree with the journal.. A lot of the time he said he had been writing the same things.
I will not ask friends because H said he prefers to keep that part quiet, but for my part I will start by not discussing H with friends and give more an air of support.
I agree emotional is tougher and he finally admitted to having his a few years back because she made him feel needed. As I said before, this is not a lasting R he is in, I feel it, but can I ride it out? Don't know....
Said again in quick text that I had his back and everything I said yesterday still stands. Also that I realize it is hard to trust me but I understood and would do my damnedest.
He said that he knows that now and it was funny how we communicate better now in separation than we ever did married
