Thanks for your take on this. And for your support. It helps me keep going.
I am limiting contact with him.
Interestingly, I had a few hours last night where I felt so sorry for him that I was almost crying.
This is a really new feeling for me. Usually, I feel sorry for myself and have cried over my own sad situation. Last night I was overwhelmed by feelings of how awful this must be for him.
One thing I need some help with at the moment concerns his request to come over and get the rest of his clothes from our house.
It's going to happen on Wed.
Kinda sad about this as it represents the last physical connection with our home. He's left almost all of his clothes here for almost 18 months, so it's a harsh reality check to finally hear that he's coming to take them. Another blow to my dwindling store of hope.
I'm wondering how to handle it.
His clothes are in a big wardrobe that is in S14's room.
There are lots of them and he will need to make multiple trips to the car to carry them all out.
His shoes are in a shoe closet in D16's room.
So, both kids will see him going into their rooms and taking the last of his things out of our home. I feel as if I need to be present to check that he doesn't take anything else away - so no making myself scarce when he comes to do this.
I don't feel that I want to bundle up his clothes for him.
1. Why should I do the work? 2. It will give him a taste of consequences to do this himself (i.e., I assume it will be hard emotionally).
Any ideas on how to handle this. Has anyone had any advice from a DB coach about this phase of the process?
My goal is to re-establish a friendly R with him. At the moment he is full of anger and resentment about the way i am 'manipulating' the children to want nothing to do with him.
