Do you still feel that her having a PA would be a deal breaker for you? B/c if you do, it seems to me you need to decide to get the information on the A, or decide you don't want to know (and maybe have it haunt you from now on). I suggest you decide before she moves back. Before ever having sex with you again, she owes it to you to get tested.
You know she's in an EA, and I can promise you your M won't make it as long as there is a third party involved. Her feelings for you won't return as long as she's in any type of contact with OM.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
