Wendylon, you took a good amount of time to analyze my questions. I really appreciate it. In regard to Q 2, what I mean is that every time he hints something that might lead to either talking about the D, or life after D, or his feelings to be free and be with other women, or how he hurt me and how he lied, and all the bad stuff he did, I usually dodge the subject and pretend to not know what he wants to talk about. I just know. But I think he thinks I just don't get what's on his mind. Why do I do this? First, I don't want to hear anything related to the D. It does hurt me. Second, I don't want him to feel bad about himself when he's around me. But maybe he needs to let that out. Maybe he needs to tell me how bad he feels about what he did. And maybe he needs to talk about his need to be "free." I've listened to this in the past (the being free speech) and it didn't help. I didn't act hurt or anything, and it still didn't help. So, should I keep avoiding these subjects?
Thank you for your comment about my 3rd Q. Yes, I feel that things are definitely more positive. And I agree that we might still go through the D (I see it as a 90% chance it'll happen) but you're right. Who knows what will happen afterward. Of course that avoiding the D altogether would be much better. I'm going to try to at least avoid going to court or go at a different time. I can't imagine myself standing in front of a judge while he dissolves our M. I'm sure I'll break down, and that's not DBing.
TGirl, thank you for the encouraging words. I want to keep a positive attitude while remaining guarded. My heart has been broken so many times that I don't really want it to happen again.
So if you (or anyone else reading) can provide some insight about my second Q, I'd appreciate it.
Will post another update after tomorrow's event. I have a feeling we won't have that much time to talk bc he has a party to go to afterwards, but at least we'll do something fun and different.
