Everything stil boils down to our perspective is only ours and to us changing ourselves because we're motivated to do so.
The only thing that I will point out is your THOUGHT on the dynamic of your grandparent's R. Your projection of how you feel about that R and how you feel it relates to your sitch. Whether or not your gm was or was not a servant. Why do you feel a need to be RIGHT about it?
These are little cues that come up from time to time, that are the trigger for me to post that "you still aren't ready, yet"...
You are still wanting your H to change. That waiting, makes you stuck. Stuck, makes you frustrated. Frustrated allows you to keep doing what you are doing, which does not appear to be helping you.
Your H will only change when he is finally motivated to do so. Right now, he is not motivated to change into the person you WANT him to be. I still don't think you are even clear on HOW that person is supposed to be, so how can he be clear on it?
HE will MATCH to YOUR changes... WHEN YOU CHANGE...
So far, there is little change in you that I can tell. I don't mean that disrespectfully. I simply mean that from the moment you began posting here, your motivation has been to get your H to change. Some of the things you have done are positive. Whether they are helping make your R better, that is up to you to determine. That is your perspective. And from what you are saying, your perspective hasn't changed.
Simply in the context of your R, your life is not getting better. You may feel you have a great life, and it is only the R that is not so great. Still, it's the elephant on the table and it... has still not changed...
How are you going to change, to make change in your R?
Are you motivated to actually doing that, permanently?
