Trying really hard to be Thankful today...

[littleGTO]

Hi, Sweet,

I'm so sorry to hear you are having such difficulty the past couple of days.

I understand your confusion about your H rewriting his happinesss history--I too have "proof" that my H appeared happy not all the long ago in the past. But, it doesn't matter what was REAL to them...it doesn't fit their current frame of mind, so they are rewriting history (even recent history) to validate their unhappiness & their actions.

Obviously your H is NOT happy w his life now, OW is not fulfilling all his happiness needs. You can't believe that.

Don't believe what you read about As on the internet...they are not uplifting at all. They do NOT give us HOPE.

I agree w adinva about not measuring your success in DBing by your H's actions. Remember this is YOUR journey. You have AMAZING things to look forward to--closest is the birth of your son! Your D's will be there for you & your son will be the luckiest little boy to have YOU as his mother!

Your love for your H is obvious, but you have to let him go (not give up, but just let go to allow yourself to move forward & enjoy the moments of life as they happen).

I struggle w the wish to just skip this next year & fast forward to 2014, but then I realize I will NEVER have this time back with my children again, so I shouldn't wish it away.

It is difficult--extremely. The hardest thing ever. BUt you will get through this. We all will, and we have to believe we will become better people because of this.

Your H is a different person right now. He may come back, he may not. Be either way you need to live your life for NOW without him.

Here's your challenge- find at least one thing that makes YOU happy every day (not just "my Ds" but something specific). Then build on this. You have a new baby coming...try to find the happiness in this.

(((((HUGS TO YOU, SB)))))