I know it is easy to SAY I will give her lots of space, and I really do want to, but putting it into practice will be another matter. I didnt do a very good job of it before she moved out and hopefully will be able to do better if she moves back. I know I would have to do a much better job of keeping my mouth shut.
I feel like I will be able to do better though just because of my frame of mind of late. I had a talk with her 2 days ago when she had to drop off some stuff at our house. I swallowed every bit of pride I had and took full responsibility for EVERYTHING that has happened up till now. I told her that I knew exactly how she felt for all of those years, the loneliness, the anger, the frustration and that I had failed as a husband and a father to protect her heart and provide a place of safety for her emotionally. I told her I understood why she left and that I didnt know how she manged to stay as long as she did and that I admired her strength, courage, and character for doing so. She tried to tell that she realizes now that it was a 2 way street but I told her that maybe if I hadnt done or not done the things I did, then maybe that 2 way street would have stayed a 1 way street. I refused to let her take any blame for any of it.
I walked home wondering if I had done the right thing. I woke up the next morning and I felt as if the weight of the world had been lifted off of my shoulders. I was no longer worried about our relationship or what she was doing. These have been the best 2 days I've had in a long while.
