You have built up great expectations of him coming back, and the expectations will bite you every time. Follow the 37 rules like they're a religion. They will help you get back out of this funk.
You're not at square one. You've come a long way. If you define success so narrowly that only your cr*ppy H coming home is a success, then you're missing the point. Hang in there, breathe, roll with things.
Make sure your doctor is aware of your depression history and current feelings. Find out what else besides meds can help get you through the next few weeks calm and strong for your baby. I'm a phone call away anytime, I sent my cell # in an email to you. I'm just a stranger but maybe I can be someone for you to talk to when you feel down and people are telling you unhelpful things.
Can you see ANY light, anywhere? Are your D's a blessing to you? Do you feel like getting things to prepare for the baby? Look for light outside of your H because he is not the source of it; he is a black hole of selfishness and irrationality.
Adinva 51, S20, S18 M24 total 6/15/11-12/1/12 From IDLY to H moving out 9/15/15-3/7/17 From negotiating SA to final D at age 50 5/8/17-now: New relationship with an old friend __ Happiness is a warm puppy.
