D process started, emotions not finished II--Tori

[Wendylon]

Qs for you guys:
1. Your general impression about this meeting

Amazing !!! It's so incredibly positive!!!

2. Should I tell him when I know he’s thinking about D or moving on or any other negative stuff? I think he actually believes I don’t get it. Could this help him open up? I try to stay away from anything negative/

Do you mean ask him more about him still wanting a D when you're together and you get that sense? What do you mean when you say that you think he believes you don't get it? Does he think that you're hopeful that he's going to change his mind?

I would try to make him feel that you can take him thinking about moving on, that you understand, and that you're not going to get upset... I might not go so far as to get him to say it but I would act very calmly if he does. You really want him to feel that he can show you who he is at the moment (what he's thinking and feeling) without hurting you. You want him to start worrying that your kindness, beauty and loving demeanour could be focused on someone else in the future. He needs to realise that by pursuing the D he could be jeopardising being the recipient/witness of your best qualities. Of course, you wouldn't spell that out but it's what you want him to realise.

3. Other advice.

He seems to be feeling safer and safer around you and obviously he's enjoying being with you. You're doing a fantastic job. I think your boundaries are wonderful. I would keep doing what's working. You must be so proud of yourself. Try to do whatever it takes to show 180s around what he perceives as your stubbornness, inflexibility and oversensitivity.

How are you feeling now? I don't think it could be going any better given the circumstances. I'm not saying that he won't pursue the D but it all sounds extremely positive and I don't think that a D would necessarily be the end of it... You still have loads of opportunities to show 180s as that proceeds. It would be the ultimate test of your sensitivity (e.g. your potential to be upset with him as he sees it probably).

I know my H HATES feeling that I'm upset/hurt because of him. Your H might be similar in that respect. My H would do anything to get away from that feeling even it means upsetting me even more!