When tapestries of life get tangled in the loom.

[Big Bruce]

Good evening,
Thank you Mr Bond and Mrs 25,
The car expulsion was indeed maybe our worse argument. She wasn't pregnant no, and of course I wouldn't behave the same today, but what makes me the saddest, is that she is capable of telling that to the whole world, when we already forgave each other, and patched things up after the incident.

The worse thing about the food shortage accusation is that she said that in July when I arrived, and I still was in the depressed/pursuing phase, and I wrote and hand-written letters apologizing for many things, including being stingy for food, although I had no idea what she was talking about!.
Now it's one strong point in her argumentation, because she wants to make the point that I will starve or under nourrish our son...

She is describing this selfish-man, ready to spend money on him and his pleasure, and none for his family.
No intersted in his family or son, and therefore no apt to take care of a 2 y/o boy, who could be at risk if he stayed with me.

Same thing with saying I'm ok with hitting the head of children for discipline, and saying I become violent = risk for our son.
Frankly, this kind of tactics makes me sick, I had no problems detaching this week, I hate her.


And we bought a place who needed renovations, my dad did most of the big work, I helped with electricity and plumbing, painting and lighter stuff, she did contribute with plastering, because it is the less technical. Yes, she probably had to get up a few steps of the ladder.
We never had an argument over it, it was a team effort. We were glad our place was getting nicer. Now it's exploding in my face as if I demanded her to work while she was pregnant, making her transporting bags of cement and beams and stuff... It must have taken a huge effort to make up this BS.
I wish I was as talented as her to take a neutral happenstance and turn it into a libel.


And for the car episode, I don't even remember ever broking down, but I will keep my mouth shut, because I don't recall it honestly. And her description is that I made her push the car for 400m, which I know it's impossible, because we don't have half a kilometer of straight, or flat road in the region.
Maybe that fact will be enough to prove it was exagerated, if not fake.
--> (that's why I wish I could call her and ask her when that happened...)


For the eczema and acid reflux thing, I agree he has this condition, I don't try to diminish it or anything. What's the deal ? --> Make me appear as a danger to his health again .
As I write on this forum, I am less and less inclined to want to pursue her at all.

Speaking of danger, back in November our S got burned touching a hot pan or the stove while he was kept by his grandma, and he went to the hospital, and had to keep a bandage on his hand for two weeks. This happens.
I didn't make a fuss, and didn't even mentionned it.
Now, I FEEL LIKE MENTIONNING that big time. If anyone should be concerned for his safety, it's me.



And yes we could affort the luxury pen, and the paraglider, and we were putting money aside each month.
And we bought a pen for her too, less expensive, but still, it never crossed my mind to accuse her of the expenses she did or didn't.

For the amount I will have to pay, I was a little upset, because she only works very part time, and studies. Our salary difference is almost 100 000 $, she says she wants the same level of life she had before, I don't think anyone will have pity on me on that one. But alright I'll pay, I've failed my marriage, and it's part of the punishment.


Grounds for divorce are : 1. irreconcilable family values. 2. Different Financial values.

Ah yes, she said I was hiding finances and accounts from her: Lie.
She said I told her I asked 50% custody to oblige her to stay : lie. Even if I thought it could have an effect on her decision, I know better than saying it plain.

As much as I want to admit fault, and am ashamed of what I previously did, and want to change my ways, there's a moment where I have to say it's going too far.

And I never said I wanted to escape with my son, I was trying to reconcile, not to lit up a strife!

Has anyone in this forum had outlandish accusations by their spouses in court ? How does one handle it ? Does anyone reconcile after that?
Frankly, I am less and less sure to want to stay with such a mean person.
I am trying to think of bad things she did, and I think to myself: no I don't want to reveal that, it was settled, we made love right after the incident, and I would be a coward and a traitor to bring it up now.
I don't know, it's against my nature to criticize and bring it up when in my heart it's gorgiven and forgotten.


And the attorney is just the one they said when I called the mid-size law firm.
I think he will be the one representing me, and we'll meet before the hearing, but I get to work with the assistant too. So I don't know how the info is communicated between them.


It got messier than what I thought.
I ingenuously thought she was going to say she wanted to keep him because she loved our son, and I would reply I loved him too...