ILYBINILWY

[subguy]

CV, I'm trying to understand your point of view and appreciate the effort it takes to post on this web site. In my situation my W dropped the bomb and left within a month. I did not realize that she felt the way she did. She says she tried telling me, however all she did was complain and nag (thats what I heard anyway). Well, that comes across as complaining and nagging. Perhaps if she would have said: when you do x, y, and z it makes me feel like _____. Sadly that did not happen and the patterns that bothered her continued. I have plenty of fault in my marriage and now that I understand I am the one seeking help, from This forum and a counselor. I am trying to understand what/how I impacted our marriage. I give you a huge amount of credit for the work you have put into your marriage.

I did not mean to imply that you don't care about your spouse. It seemed like from your post that everyone sat around and did nothing and then noticed how pathetic it was. I was curious if you all did something together how would it impact you all.

I agree with AJ in the fact that I think you two can find happiness. I am rooting for you CV to find the peace and joy we all deserve. Either with your husband or not.

I hope to pick your brain more so I can explore a little more about the other side of the coin. I truly want to change who I am for me, because I need to be the friend, brother, spouse that I want. I will never try to insult or degrade you, I hope you did not take my post in that manner.

Any thoughts on why he does this?

He probably thinks it's cute or funny and does not really get that it pisses you off. Have you asked him about this??