I'm amazed how resilient kids can act. D7 has been asking me a lot of questions but doesn't seem worried, just wants to know details about future.
I went through this with S10 and D16 (9 and 15 at the time). Kids initially get excited about the idea of having a new bedroom in a new home, the whole separation thing seems like a big adventure to them. But it's short-lived. They're going through an emotional roller coaster too, so just be ready because they are going to have some very low lows and will need you more than ever. Your W is going to want to pretend that everything is fine and that they don't need help, so don't expect her to step up when they need it most.
Yesterday she asked about custody and I told her we weren't sure yet. She then said best case is they stay with each parent 2 days then the next. She doesn't want one week on/off and definitely not weekends only. I asked her how she knows this stuff and she said a lot of her friends have divorced parents. So sad that a 7 year old knows this stuff, I had no idea she was this aware. She also asked me if she could help pick out my next house/ apartment. Apparently I'm the only one freaking out over this... She did tell me Jesus gives us our strength and said she's been praying more but wouldn't give details.
Yesterday spent a great day with kids. We went sledding and even made it on the major news network. They interviewed us all sitting on the sled before a run. Kids were so cute during interview and super excited to see themselves on TV. Phone was ringing for 30 minutes afterwards with people wanting to talk with the celebs . Wife got home and watched it and it seemed to tick her off. I let it go and figured let her deal with it, kids and I always have fun together and she'll have to get used to that.
Only other time we talked was I brought her up to speed on things they were asking about. This really ticked her off. In a crappy tone she even said they were asking her all the same stuff. I just ignored it but I know it's not true because she hasn't been around. I do feel bad that kids aren't really talking with her much, even when she's here. Yesterday I even went out to shovel snow to let them hang out and they ended up outside with me. Glad she gets them all weekend to hopefully bond (as long as she doesn't fill their head with BS but nothing I can do about it). With a crappy tone W told me they were staying at her sisters an extra night for New Years and I asked if she had talked to kids because they should now get a say (kind of ticked me off she thought she could just keep them w/o even discussing with me). Last night she asked what they wanted to do and they said have me go to her sisters, W said that wouldn't work so D7 said she wanted to come home and watch ball drop with all of us. This really ticked off W and kind of backfired for me. I fully expected kids to want to stay with their cousins like we always have and I would go to friends party. I'm happy to spend NYE with kids but not so much having to hang with W. I may talk to them and see if they want to stay extra day to hopefully calm W down, not sure what to do on this one.
The other thing I've noticed is since we told them and how it happened I'm completely detached from W. It kind of scares me but I could really care less about her right now. I feel bad about kids interactions with her but no feelings for her other then that. I hope it's only temporary but her coldness towards kids has flipped a switch in me I never expected. [/quote]
. Wife got home and watched it and it seemed to tick her off. I let it go and figured let her deal with it, kids and I always have fun together and she'll have to get used to that. 