I'm a firm believer in the concept that you can't fix a problem until you understand what it is. I don't need to know the childhood trauma that occurred when someone was 6 months old that is the basis for "why" today, but I do need to know "what" the problem is, not just the visible symptom. So I'm throwing this out for thoughts on what it is, just so I can understand it.
I like to do jigsaw puzzles. Not the brutal ones that are 5000 pieces that are all one color, or where the final image is something like an endless pile of paper clips. Just nice, seasonal images that are enjoyable to do.
H does NOT like to do them. He can spend 10 minutes looking and never find a piece. I understand, that would be frustrating. So he doesn't do them with me.
What he will do, however, is sneak in and steal a piece and keep it until I'm done with all the rest of the puzzle, then swoop in and place the final piece saying something like, "Look, I finished the puzzle!"
This also plays in with telling the punchline of a joke, hammering in one nail so he can say he helped with a project, talking about something I'm currently working on, etc.
What he doesn't ever do is actually participate in the process.
So, yes, I could just let him steal my thunder in everything. I could just sit down and place 999 of the 1000 puzzle pieces and let him put the last one in. I could, but I don't want to. Is it that bad of me that *I* want to put in the last piece after doing the other 999?
Sadly, I've taken to doing things in secret or when he's at work, because it's the only way I can assure that I get ... what? Perhaps it's just self-satisfaction? A sense of accomplishment? I'm not even sure what he's denying me, but I know I definitely don't like it. Whatever it is, I know it's demoralizing.
