LOL! Apples to Apples is a box game sold retail. I've played it before but don't really remember how.
SS, I've written him letters before. If it has anything at all negative, like I offer my different opinion on a topic, he still responds the same but can skim it instead and get it over with much faster. That's probably his preferred method but no more successful than talking with him.
Yes, Subguy, I could have done exactly that, and have done so before. We're going out with my bro and family for dinner tonight because I organized it.
I don't really think that's the real issue, though, nor was it with my grandparents. The fact is that my grandparents didn't like each other. My grandfather was a male chauvinist pig, not uncommon for the time I'm sure, and he treated my grandmother poorly, at least by today's standards. Like he'd come home from work and dump his cr@p on the floor and expect her to pick it up. And she sure better have breakfast, lunch, and dinner ready when he was ready. He did nothing around the house while she raised six kids. I suspect he saw nothing wrong with it either, since I would bet most of his friends did the same thing.
I'm not suggesting my H is like that, only pointing out that a slew of disrespectful behaviors exhibited by someone for years can make you not like them, even if that person is your spouse. Maybe especially if that person is your spouse. Thus the ILYBINILWY declaration that comes from the WAS.
If it had only been S12 and myself last night, I would have invited him to play. I didn't want to play with H. He has annoying habits that he does in spite of *our* asking him to stop. Like speaking in a weird accent, doing something else while we're playing so he never knows when it's his turn or what's going on, getting up to go do something that takes 10 minutes so we have to sit and wait for him to come back. Cheating. None of these things are off the chart, and most would find it not to be a problem and possibly even humorous the first time. After 100 times of the same thing, it gets really old.
So in keeping with the mindset that MWD presents that it's better to keep the S you have and work with it, I just don't know how to do that, especially when discussing it is completely unsuccessful and direct requests are ignored or forgotten. Yes, I could definitely put together a game night, but then I would just have more memories of how annoying it is to play with H. I wonder if there's a "list" somewhere that I could look through. I've seen lists on here of "What I need in a S." Wonder if there's something on what successful M's look like.
I think part of the problem is that I've just been at this too long. I probably should have D'd H 15 years ago. But I kept reading and talking to counselors and doing M seminars and trying everything I came across. I've changed in countless ways while H is pretty much exactly the same way he's always been (he would confirm this statement.) I wish I was new at this, then all the suggestions would be something I haven't tried before. I think I'm using this thread more as a place to think and vent. It's an open window to the confusion and frustration happening in the mind of a WAS, for anyone that cares to know. If it's any consolation to a LBS, it's not any fun on this side of the R either.
Maybe I just need to let go of the idea of a healthy M and mourn the loss and be happy with GAL'g.
