Feeling completely crazy at this moment. H had the kids for the day (they are out of school) and asked me to take them if I got out early from work, which I did. He just called to say goodnight to them. He usually FaceTimes them on his phone so they can see him but tonight he just called because he wasn't home. I so wonder where he is and who he is with. I didn't ask and he didn't tell but I would be lying if I said it didn't hurt me to think he's out there with another woman, which he probably is. And there's nothing I can do and I have to just let it go but it doesn't make up for feeling stabbed in the heart at this moment. In the past when he's been out with someone that we know, he'll tell me that he's out for dinner with So-and-So. Tonight he just texted "not at home so I'll call". I had a feeling he wanted them out early because he had plans tonight. I feel sick just thinking about it. And so the roller coaster continues. I know I should expect this but the blow to my ego is still very real and it [censored]. Just when I think I'm doing well and then crap like this happens. Sigh.

You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
-Christopher Robin to Pooh

Romans 12:12 Rejoice in your hope, be patient in suffering, persevere in prayer.