Same Old Wagon Wheel Part 7

[25yearsmlc]

Good job on committing to the workshop!!

You will get a lot out of the workshop, I promise. But remember to "Trust the process" b/c there are some very tough exercises at the start. But they are designed to help you discover things about life and you & b/c it's
"experiential" (=not a lot of lectures)

you can't "edit" or rehearse your reactions, which leads to a lot of insights...in a safe environment,

and by the end of the workshop, you'll have some answers.

Trust that they know how to get you there, b/c they do. They are well qualified professionals and it's a well designed workshop and process.


As for what "work" you need to do NOW, I mean, work on GAL now. Overcoming inertia is THE issue...

Whether you "confront" her about texting OMs is totally separate in my opinion. Take the focus and obsession OFF of her and whether she is texting and if so, to whom and what the content is...

really, work on YOUR LIFE....besides

First, as others have told you, what's it mean to "confront" her about OM?

If she complies, great, you told her to stop doing something she already knows bothers you. "Because" you demanded she stop, she DID stop...well that would be a surprise but a good one...

but secondly, if she does not comply, then what?

What are you really ready to do IF she says "I don't want to stop" OR

"there's nothing wrong with me texting" OR

"What are you going to do about it?"

Sometimes confrontation leads to escalation and consequences you are not prepared for.

So be TOTALLY clear about your expectations of this "confronting" or if there are alternatives=

such as leaving w/the kids whenever she does this,

OR not paying the phone bill after calmly telling her you won't pay for contacting OM

I'm NOT suggesting this^^^...I'm simply giving hypothetical responses. But if you are not sure what your goal is OR what you are ready to DO in the event things go nowhere,

OR if you are not even positive there is an affair, maybe you can wait until you are.

My concern is that your focus is almost exclusively on what SHE is doing and what SHE WILL do if you do/say 'x' or 'y' and your focus ought to be on GAL and being with your kids more.

I strongly suspect she knows the texts bother you but she's either clueless about why, or she is in denial about the meaning of the texts, OR

she is pushing/daring you to DO something (do you want to be manipulated like that? Do you want your life to be a series of REACTIONS?)

OR is this tit for tat b/c of your prior affair?

I don't know! All I am certain of, is you need to GAL and work on you.

What are YOUR 180s (other than "not snapping")?

IOW, What proactive steps are you taking to become the man you want to become? What does that man look like? ( I grant you that attending the Essential Experience Workshop will be a huge step)

So meanwhile...back at the ranch...what's up with your efforts to get past that inertia? Between now and February, what GAL are you going to do?