Ok, I'm going to be a little bit of a baby...just a little. I need something to reach for. Can you guys give me three hard core, meat and bones things are "DBing" and that are in the book. Please include the page number - I need to see it, need to have something to believe in...
thx
off the top of my head, I'd say read pp,.182-185 of Div Busting and then ALL of Chapter 7...DB...
that's just what came to my mind as being part of what i often recommend putting your focus on. DO you grasp what a "180" is? Have you done any?
Can you name 2?
Also, fwiw, I have 2 family members who divorced, only to remarry their former spouses a few years later (I think it was 3 years and 5 years later).
They each changed and improved and I don't THINK they planned on reconciling when they were all doing their "work" on self improvement. They just worked on themselves and b/c of children, they remained in some form of distant contact...and were always civil...
I think that, like you have seen, we tend to fix SOME of our problems when we are forced to.
You were forced to plan things and meet new people b/c your wife left you. So you did grow, and now SOME of why she left you is no longer applicable, correct?
Okay so what else is there for you to work on that YOU care about?
it can't be all about getting her back; it's got to be about you becoming a happier more fulfilled person and becoming the man YOU were meant to become,
b/c like Chapter 7 of DB says, a happier person is a lot more appealing.
you have to bring something to the table, you know?
Her fear will be that if she were to return to you, you'd revert to your old laissez faire ways.
And she loathes that. In a way, you did too. So her leaving you sounds as if it lead you to some growth, correct?
ever think of thanking her for that?
Make sure the changes you make are real and permanent.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
