do you really think that is the approach I want to take? I am obviously new to this, but I cannot let go of the idea that she will eventually come around. I DO want to be her friend. I want to be her best friend, only I want more. I also want to be her husband. She hasn't seen an attorney, she hasn't made plans to effectively move away. She really hasn't initiated any move towards divorce. moreso, I have forced her hand by being pushy. I know you are aware of the mistakes I have made previously. yesterday, during our conversation, she expressed to me that she originally wanted to work on our relationship, but after my actions the first few weeks she decided on leaving completely. That was roughly a month ago. Today, She is more coummuncative with me than she has been in the last several months.I know what she is "verbally" saying, but I thought I wasn't to beleive any of that and only half of what I see? She has also expressed to me that she is simply affraid to open her heart in fear of it being hurt again. That is her main reluctance to not reconcile, out of fear. I just feel that her choice to leave will eventually fade away and that her heart will re-open to me. Denial is obviously happening with me, but is it that far fetched to feel the way I do? Am I living a pipedream? Am I setting myself up for serious emotional damage by hanging on? I know her reality is going to set in even deeper with our new parenting plan. She will not see our daughter for a week at a time. That is going to shed some serious light on the reality of a breakup.
As far as changing the dynamic, I have full on thrown myself into being an outstanding parent to our daughter. I know she is noticing that. She has even mentioned it. I have also made big strides towards being non-critical, not just with my wife but in all of my realtionships. I am dressing better, looking better and being more upbeat. I am also going out and enjoying time with friends and family. I am improving myself! She has noticed that as well. We communicate better today than we have in a long time, much more calm and controlled. If we were like this a year ago, things between us would probably be good right now.
I was seriously worried about my DB coaches suggestion to go the "freidnship route", but it does seem like she is repsonding more to that than she was to anything else. Of course, like you said, it realses her from guilt. It also is an option that she really couldn't turn down. Her other option would to be enemies and battle it out in court. Of course she wants to be friends. I just don't know how to approach this in hopes of the best results. I don't want to lose her, and I can't move on until I know that is a reality. After reading your reply, all of those flutter chest pains are starting to come back! Am I doing the wrong thing and headed for serious heartbreak?