H's MLC started when BF murdered

[GatorGirl]

FY,
I can't give up now-12 years is a long time. We've been together nearly 14 and I made a vow to stick it out "in sickness and in health" and this is surely sickness. It seems like too much to hope for to wait it out successfully. He is so distant, so removed from me (and I from him by my own choice) that the thought of him coming to me and telling me he's made a huge mistake just seems like a pipe dream. His MLC could not be over that quickly, heaven knows. However, I am sure that this is the right choice for moral reasons if nothing else. I made a vow and I am standing my ground until it's over. I did take my wedding rings off a month ago because I started to become afraid I would lose them because I've lost weight but didn't tell him why I took them off. He didn't ask so it probably doesn't matter. If he's that curious, he will bring it up.

You're right-if I did something with someone else just because I needed attention, I would probably immediately regret it. The worst part is that I'm one of those women that does NOT eat when stressed. I was a size 10 a year ago and am now a size 4 between purposefully losing 20 pounds at the beginning of the year and then another 15 because of this. I haven't been this size since college. I joke that it's the best gift he could have given me, preparing me so well for the dating world post-divorce. However, it's clear that men notice the difference and they have been very sweet in telling me it won't take long for me to hook someone new when I'm ready. I'm not sure exactly how I feel about that. I never thought I'd be thrown back into the dating pool and yet, here I am, practically standing on the edge of it, somewhat terrified but so tempted by all the attention. There are moments when I am still left shaking my head and wondering how this all happened.

I have a new job I started just a couple of weeks ago (which is amazing-it's my dream job) and I have been doing things just for me regarding GAL. I plan to start exercising again once the new year starts and I have a chance to get into some sort of routine with the new job and the kids schedules.