Feel betrayed by my own son

[Raine]

That's so hard for you and your son. It's difficult for him to be put in the middle of a situation where he feels like he has to choose his D over his M. Either way he loses, and likely feels it's less confrontation to appease his D, since he is the one there in person.

This happened in my B and SIL's divorce. I refused to take any sides, and my B had a fit about it. To me, my SIL is my sister. She has been a part of my life for 25 years. As a result, my B doesn't talk to me and has cut me out of his life.

Know as difficult as this is for you, more than anyone could imagine, it's got to be difficult for S too. I would absolutely loath my D if he ever did this to my M, and be so torn between maintaining relationships and wanting him out of my life. That becomes more difficult with grandchildren involved, as it's very important to me that my children have a relationship with their grandparents.

My suggestion would be to take the higher road and tell S how you feel. Apologize for lashing out and acknowledge this is difficult for him too. Let him know that the anger is not towards him, but towards the situation. Both of you have conflict to deal with, through no fault of your own, but as a result of bad and selfish choices of someone else.