Your right and that's what I'm trying to do. Just stop. It's really tough not to do,you know?
So took a day away from everything and managed to talk a friend into letting me stay a night at his place. I have resisted the urge as hard as it is to check her email. I don't think anything good will come from it. She text me yesterday to see when I was coming home. I told her I didn't know. What I did instead is and this was probably a stupid move as well but completely out of the ordinary for me. The girls text me and the oldest said she was staying with her nana and the youngest text me that she was going to stay with a friend but hoped to see me soon. So I drove home and cleaned the house up really well. I cooked filet mignon with baked potatoes,baby carrots and chocolate fondue with lots of apples and assorted fruits. Went and parked my car down the street walked back and waited. Came back put flowers all over the house. From the front door to the dining room I put a trail down to her chair and circled it with flowers. When it was close to time for her to be home I lit all the candles in the house and turned off all the lights. I stood in the hallway to where I could see her face but she could not see me. She came in and she was smiling. I stepped out from the hallway and she had the biggest smile on her face than I had seen in a long time. We had dinner and talked about anything other than the relationship. Several hours passed and she was still smiling. She went and put on music and we danced and danced. She kissed me for what seemed like an eternity. She then wanted to have sex. I politely told her that's something I can't do at this juncture. She nodded but still made advances. At the end of the night she came up to me and said thank you and told me how much it meant to her. She said it was nice to actually have me here. From what I gathered from that comment and the way she sounded she often times feels like I'm physically here but mentally somewhere else. I think that might have been a step in the right direction. She asked me where this all came from. I just kind of shrugged and got ready for bed. Altogether we ate,talked and danced from about 5:30pm til 2am. Today she called in to work because she said she wants some more time with me. At this moment she's still sleeping. I'm going to continue my routine of going to the gym and whatnot. I can't allow one really good night to put a halt to things. I have to keep reminding myself that one good night will not put a stop to the other boy.
