Some progress after 2+ months of DBing

[Wendylon]

Thank you very much, subguy, Tori and Regretful for the helpful feedback.

I did bring up the drinking with H yesterday morning. I just said that I was worried that he was drinking more and that he seemed quite compulsive. He didn't seem too defensive and said he'd think about it. Later in the day, he told me that I was right and that it didn't fit with his overall goals. He didn't drink yesterday. I'm not sure his abstaining will last very long but still it's nice that he took what I said on board.

He's not actually a big drinker but he's weird with smoking, drinking and eating in that he is secretive and weird. Drinking affects him very quickly. I'm also incredibly sensitive to it because I don't drink and both my parents were/are alcoholics.

Subguy, I'm very guilty of this though I didn't overtly complain but I'm sure H knew I wasn't happy that I had to do it again:

Every thing had to be JUST right, if I did something, not to her liking, she would come behind me and change it and then complain about having to change it, so... why put the effort in??

I have years of doing this. It will take a while for H not to expect me to do it again or interfere.

So far so good today. H is in his cave and I'm leaving him to it. I think he needs more un-interrupted time than I usually give him. Last night, we had a particularly fun supper. It was just the 5 of us but there was lots of laughter.

Thank you again, everyone. I know I keep saying this but it makes such a difference being on this board. I know I'd be in a better place in my M now if I hadn't rested on my laurels eight years ago and then started back-sliding steadily but surely. This time, I'll stick around even if our M improves to the point where I'm no longer anxious and insecure.