Changing Directions

[hopefulinga]

Wow, the MWD post defines my H so well. He keeps saying he's tried, and when I ask what he considers trying, I get no answer. I think trying to him has been to come home and deal with me causing him intentional stress, blah blah blah.

Love your family, including H, even if he is broken and confused. Let him know, "yes, I contributed to the brokenness of this M, but I have tried to make amends and work on my issues. Can you say the same?" Maybe even challenge him a little more, "Do you take no responsibility for where we are? Do you really think our M was awesome, and my poor character caused all our problems?"

I don't know if your H is in a frame of mind to hear any of the above or let it sink in. I also recall that your "challenging" him has been an issue in your marriage. I know that I've said some similar things to my H. I've written him a letter asking for forgiveness, I've told him that I accept my role in the downfall of our marriage, and I could go on.

Right now, your H seems stubborn and stuck. He may be broken and confused. I don't know. I am not a man.

I think you are doing a good job of focusing on you and where you want to be. I had started to wear my wedding ring again and have again taken it off. Why? Because when we got married, my H told me it was a symbol of his never ending love for me, just as there is no end to the ring. I cannot be reminded of that by someone who says they do not love me and is being so cruel to me.

You did a good job with the bookcases today. You upheld your end of the deal and he backed out. Sounds like my H and looking for houses.