F* ! I just received the affidavit from W. It's the sworn declaration that will be used for Court. It's full of deformed truths, and slander.
How do I react ? Do I call W and tell her what I think ?
DO NOT CONTACT HER ABOUT THIS...
ONLY HAVE LAWYERS HANDLING IT... YOU want to react in anger - which will be used against you.
"Deformed truths" are what you call it, but she or her lawyers call it advocating for our clients.
This is how SHE sees it (OR it's how her lawyers wants to argue it). Do not blame her. But YOU do NOT say a word about this to her. You let your lawyer do ALL the talking.
Consider this a test and you must pass it the first time.
So Contact your lawyer and Shut up around your wife. Make it ALL about time with your son.
(SIDENOTE on the law.... "Slander" is spoken, "libel" is written. Unless she misstates FACTS, it's just her opinion and that is not libel. HOWEVER in some places such as California, bad mouthing your spouse to the child, is very frowned upon. In this state you can LOSE custody if you persist in bad mouthing the other parent. IT's called "parental alienation"....
[[[so the joke goes: "IF you want to call your xh a miserable selfish SOB @$%&#!!!"...
you have to STAY married!!"]]]
and fwiw, the contacts via skype OR phone, at his age can't be longer than 5 minutes UNLESS you are telling him a story. If he wanders off, it's not holding his attention and also, document that. She ought to facilitate contact
(but NOTE---- her lawyer may argue "who told the father to go so far away for Christmas?? The father clearly does not value time with the boy and only wants to lower his chid support payments by threatening his wife with the loss of her son..." Be ready to read things like that and only by your ACTIONS can you disprove them...
In the skype or phone calls, YOU must keep the conversation going, you have to ask him what he ate that day, and what he's wearing if he put it on himself if he wathed a show that day or if Santa came or whatever his age allow, and tell him SHORT but exciting stories
Do you have any nieces or nephews?
Is there anyone in your family you can ask for advice from about young kids? You need to connect with him
and no more 2-3 weeks away from him. (I'd go nuts away from my only child that long...it would make my heart ache, and I don't know how you spent months apart from him BUT I BELIEVE that your wife saw it as very very significant and you still don't.
You were not helpful with the child. You openly resented him and you deserted your wife at her most vulnerable time in a country foreign to her. That removes you from ANY "perfect husband" contests...you need to read my post to you about what being a new mother is like and how your behavior soooo contrasted with what she needed. She left you a year ago so in her mind, she gave you a year of you mistreating her AND your only child...
do not revise your marital history or you'll do so at your peril.
I wish she had sought counselling but then, would YOU have really taken it seriously? Most men admit that unless they believe their wife is about to leave them, they do not take counselling seriously OR changing themselves... do you miss your son very much? Are you contacting him to prove something or b/c you want to see his face? Last but not least, I repeat, do NOT contact your wife about LEGAL matters.
Only discuss your son...
don't ignore this advice Bruce...
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
