H's MLC started when BF murdered

[Raine]

GG, I don't know what I would do in your situation. The day after I founded out he had started an EA that was moving into PA and we separated, I was ready to kick his butt to the curb and completely destroy him in a divorce. I was so angry. It took time for me to get over that initial shock and see things for what they were. It wasn't until I understood what was really happening to him that I could look at things differently. Him getting caught stopped the A, but I'm really not sure where he is with her let alone there could be others. I get hope in the "I love you," and worry in the thought of he means it now, but what about tomorrow, or did he say it out of guilt, or out of trying to keep me from moving too far away from him? I'll just end up in circles thinking about it, so I'm trying not to. I just know that my H is in total depression right now, not leaving his house, but tomorrow he could be hooking up with the OW to feel better about himself.

Quote on Standing from Hero's Spouse:

Standing is about options. Though there is an implied intention of reconciliation, not everyone knows what they want or what they think they will want in the future. So instead of focusing on an intention of reconciliation; focus on keeping your mind open to the possibility without concern for probabilities. Though your mind may say No, acknowledge the possibility you may choose to change it in the future and the Standing Actions which help you to focus on your Self and learn to communicate with an MLCer can provide a safe path toward the option of reconciliation which you can accept or decline. Though Standing may be an action amidst a spouse's sins, focus instead on love, not that it is an act of love, but an act in love. As a Stander I stood for Sweetheart--the man I married and the man I believed he could and would become. I was not Standing for the MLC Monster. I stood for marriage, love, vows, beliefs...

Standing does not mean that you will remain married legally, nor do I advocate that as the end or primary goal; I advocate that you choose your own goals. There are many people who remain married in the eyes of the law and yet they no longer have a relationship as spouses or mates. How is that a marriage, you may ask? Perhaps it is not in your eyes (or mine), but someone else's marriage is not your marriage, let them call it what they will.

I am the same as you. I won't file, but if he does, I would make sure to take care of myself and my kids and move on even more with my life, including dating other people.