WHG: Waiting out the time before D...

[workinghardguy]

My New Years resolution is to be on the boards more Life has been going good and I think I've avoided the boards because I didn't feel strong enough to come back here. There are still emotions that wash over me when I log in here, but they are different now I guess.

Christmas went well. I'll admit I was apprehensive coming up to it, but the holiday comes one way or the other

The weekend before my S and I went to Madison to see the Nutcracker. He's 6 and has been begging to go for the past month so... why not? We made a weekend out of it at a waterpark, an art museum, the capitol, etc... We had a blast and he absolutely loved the ballet. Now he's begging me to take him back in March for Dracula

Christmas Day went pretty good. XW brought SS and SD over and we all opened gifts together. XW and I went in together on gifts for the kids. We all hung out together at my house for about three hours before they headed off to my XMIL's house. I had S Christmas Eve and that's when we did stuff with my mom.

Christmas definitely had a poignant moment... I took my S over to the hospital to visit a family friend who was hospitalized over the holiday. I stepped out of her room to get some ice and as I came up to the door I heard my S and our friend talking. My S was telling Sue all about our trip. She told him that his daddy must love him a lot. My S replied "oh I know! He loves me more than anything else in the world". Then she asked my S how he's doing and replied "I'm doing good. The divorce isn't so bad now, I'm getting used to it. And we still do things together once in a while like tomorrow we'll all open presents and mommy and daddy can open my present for them together."

It was the first time I've heard my S say that the divorce at least isn't so bad In two weeks it will mark the year anniversary of telling the kids.

Meanwhile XW continues to struggle. Her job, the 50/50 time split with her other XH, and life mean she doesn't see the kids much. She just came off of a six day run of not seeing them. At the same time she doesn't do anything extraordinary to change that, but that's her choice. She's frustrated because she can't get a different job and money is tight all the time.

I have noticed a few small things lately... her and BF have cooled somewhat. On Christmas she told me she's trying to give him and his S more space as they go through an ugly divorce process. Last week I dropped off a couple things the kids left at my house the night before and noticed she was wearing her wedding ring, albeit on the wrong hand but still weird.

For New Years I asked if I could have the kids for part of the evening to take them to a local indoor amusement place that runs a New Years Eve special. She asked if she could come along... I said sure.

So I don't know what any of that means or if it means anything... but I found myself not really caring, for the first time, when she asked if she could come along. Normally I would've treated that text message like a fragile egg... now... eh, having her along will make S ecstatic and it means I get to keep my promise to SS and SD about taking them there.