I have been slowly getting out of my funk and doing fun things with friends. It has been great, and the key to not having bad days for me is keeping myself busy so my mind doesn't start to wander. I have also lost a significant amount of weight with the exercise and diet and I'm now down to 368lbs which is with in spitting distance of where I was when we first were married. My ultimate goal is to get down to 240-250. I have never been this driven to reach that target before.
As far as reading DR, I have started it. I am on chapter nine right now (after a weeks worth of reading it) along with reading The Love Dare. I have found both very helpful. The 180's I am working on currently is detaching and being distant. Before I did the stereo typical begging, pleading, talking about good times and for all of these the W just went farther away. So for now I am trying to keep my distance, not saying "I Love You", not talking about future plans, and taking it one day at a time. I have also started up my separate checking account and we have split the bills. She manages hers, and I manage mine.
Since Dec 8th, she didn't talk to me for a week and a half and now she calls or texts me, just a little at a time. Yesterday I did set one expectation and that was for her to willingly (I emphasized that I was not forcing her and she was to do it only if she wanted to) call me sometime between now and Jan 10th and ask me how my day was going. Jan 10th is the day she flies in from where she is living now to spend a week with me. She seemed okay with this and was a bit surprised at first. She asked if she was to call me every day, to which I answered no, she didn't have to call me at all if she didn't want to OR she could call me every day or every other day. Whatever she felt like doing. Was this okay to ask of her?
Also, during the week of Jan 10th to Jan 17th how should I act around her? Should I "Act As If" and seduce her, ask her out to dinner/dates? Or should I keep my distance and act as friends? She is viewing that time to see if there is anything there that she can hold on to, that we could build on. I am confident she will see something there, but I am unsure how I should act around her. Maybe just trial and error?
