Tell me what's stopping you without using "H" in the sentence.
Few things are stopping me right now: - Not having a clear foreseeable future - Not feeling at peace with my sitch - Feeling trapped for the time being - Financial worries
Seriously? I'm going to have to say you're copping out here Regret. You know I've got no commitment from my W and a court date in a couple of weeks and yet, even my W says to me this AM "I can't get over how happy you are." And she's right...this is the happiest I've been in my entire life. Could it be better? Sure. Do the negatives weigh on me sometimes? Sure. But I refuse to be unhappy because my W is confused, or our house isn't selling, or anything else for that matter.
Control what you can control....and let go of the rest.
With regards to your mistakes, and H not forgiving you....did you finish the Five Languages of Apology? You sound very similar to where I was a few months back. I refused to apologize for the same thing over and over. It felt like punishment. But, I decided that I would apologize, very specifically, once, for things that I was truly sorry for. I did this every couple of days via text and my W said it did more for our M than anything else I've ever done, and honestly, it helped me forgive myself. At the time, I didn't really expect forgiveness, and I thought my M was done, but I wanted my W to know how I felt.
I'm not saying you need to wallow in it, and I certainly think you need to stop accepting H's judgments (and other people's), but be who you want to be. Be good to yourself.
Sounds like the IC is really helping...that's goodness. And I think feeling sexy is important too!
