To be honest my wife did the majority of the Christmas stuff at our house as well. I chip in and help on a lot of things but she really got a kick out of doing Christmas so I backed off. I also worked and she has never had a job working 40+ hours. (she worked outside of our home for about 12 of our 22 years). She had the time to do stuff and get home before I could get home from work. I even gave her 8 hours of whine free shopping the day after Thanksgiving. If she needed/wanted help she never made it clear to me, maybe I could have recognized.
Every thing had to be JUST right, if I did something, not to her liking, she would come behind me and change it and then complain about having to change it, so... why put the effort in?? It was how I liked it so why not leave it. Kinda like when I build something like a deck, I want it my way, so she would back off and let me have it my way.
I'm quoting subguy bc I think he's made an important point. What I've noticed in the dynamics of most marriages on this site is that there is a "responsible" partner who is a doer and takes control, and an "ADD/irresponsible" partner who feels that he can never measure up. As women, we tend to pay more attention to detail and be more organized. Men "fall short" in our eyes, and we have to do things "right." But really, who cares. It's all small stuff. I think the secret is to let go of the little things and appreciate what our partners do, even if they don't do it according to our standards. And men need to learn to appreciate their W's instead of complaning about their nagging. I'm learning a lot. Thank you, subguy.
