H's MLC started when BF murdered

[Raine]

GG I know what you mean. I know from talking with others who have been divorced, this is the worse period, this limbo state. The worst thing for me is being such a person of action, and the only action for me at this point is to file. The thing with me though is I'm not ready to move on. I still am way too emotionally tied to my H. I'm not in a place emotionally to date, let alone physically with a baby 14 wks away. So if I got divorced right now I don't see it solving any problem but my need for action and resolution. Divorce will just have a whole new set of problems. I'm standing for hope, that the man I love is going to find himself and set things right. If I don't, I'll always have what if regrets. As they say though, D is just a piece of paper, and what is done can be undone. I don't know if I could feel the same way if my H was in a relationship with someone else. I've stopped assuming I know how I will or won't feel about things until they happen.

Standing has given me an opportunity for growth I never would have had. I'm a better person. I'm a better communicator. I have more compassion. I have time to work on me and recognize my faults and make changes. I will be a much better wife in the next relationship with H or someone else because of this.

I like The Hero's Wife's website and the reasons she gives why to stand. I'm standing for all of these reasons:
Love
Moral opposition to divorce
For better or for worse
In sickness and in health
The dis-ease theory of MLC
Marriage is a covenant
For the kids
Faith he will come through...better
You know you are supposed to be together
To learn and grow by not giving up, but by improving yourself and learning about relationships
The person you loved and married is still in there somewhere
You understand what part you played in this and you've grown from it
You are being true to yourself and your heart